How Art Can Heal a Broken Heart or Ground You in Uncertain Times
By Thea Fiore-Bloom, Ph.D.
The first time I saw the young woman with the harlequin-patterned rain boots my heart jumped out to her.
She seemed overwhelmed, pale, thin, burdened, stressed.
I was on my way out for a “run” and she was walking 2 short dogs in the tall grass near my house.
We ended up talking.
She told me she was in the seventh month of a rough marital separation that was set off by a betrayal she found out about.
I could relate.
But after that day we talked I never saw her out there again for weeks. At least a month went by before she resurfaced.
And then there she was again on the same grassy knoll except now she looked more like Botticelli’s Venus. She was pink, not pale. Tall not burdened, smiling, not stressed and rounder at the corners.
Was it the same woman?
‘Okay, I told myself before I waved back to her, ‘It has to be her; those are the same short dogs and the same tall boots.
But what miraculous thing could have happened in just four weeks to transform her into this radiant being?’
What Happened To Ms. Harlequin Boots?
Maybe she had already settled amicably and avoided going to court?
Nope.
Or maybe a new love had flown down into her life?
Nope.
Well, what did happen?
Art happened.
Turns out Harlequin Boots was an artist; an artist who understandably stopped making art when things hit the fan.
But four weeks ago, right after the time I happened to talk with her, she chose to slam the brakes on her downward spiral by following her intuition.
She told me she opted not to do the traditional therapy thing.
Instead, she decided to make some kind of art again, every day. Even if it was a simple swoosh of watercolor on paper. Even if it killed her.
She was hoping it would help her come back home to herself and be more present for her two young boys.
So Ms. Harlequin Boots started getting out of bed at 5:00 in the morning instead of 6:00 so she could produce at least one painting before her kids got up.
But it had been so long, what should she paint?
The Harlequin Boots Method To Heal a Broken Heart
“The first morning, the first watercolor… I just let go and made an eye. It was a HUGE eye. Very basic.
And REALLY, REALLY angry,” she laughed.
And that angry eye made her feel better than she had in months.
“But it was still so hard to start each day, said Harlequin Boots. “I tried to do anything but the art at first. I would even tackle vacuuming to put off painting them.”
Yet she pushed herself each morning to make another eye and another.
It got easier.
And the eyes evolved in their depth and intricacy.
Harlequin Boots painted different eyes depending on her emotional weather.
There were thinking eyes, sad eyes, radiant eyes, and dead eyes.
But when a happy-ish eye slipped in she knew something was shifting.
It was right about then the irises in her painted eyes started to sprout life; tiny figures began to dance across their once placid surfaces.
The eyes got taped on a wall of their very own.
“My sons love the eye project now but they did kinda got freaked out about it at first – mostly by the angry eyes. I don’t blame them, there’s a lot of angry eyes up there.”
How Art Can Heal Your Broken Heart
I share Harlequin Boot’s story with you for three reasons.
1. Because I think she’s awesome and I learned a lot from her.
2. Because she said I could.
3. And three, because it reminded me of something I bet you knew already that I just figured out. And that is this: art can heal a broken heart.
How?
Well, Harlequin Boots says it best: “The daily painting heals me because it gives me forty-five minutes a day of God connection.”
Art that connects us to Spirit can not only help heal a broken heart it can also be a balm for many different kinds of devastating losses that break our hearts.
For example, Charmed Studio subscriber Donna Wocher chose to use art to support herself emotionally after the sudden death of her beloved dog Ketchup.
“I had stopped making art by then,” said Wocher. “And the one buddha a day project allowed me to return something valuable to myself that I had lost — my creative sense of self.”
(Wocher’s post 30 Buddhas in 30 Days explains how she used the 30-day model to help deal with her shock, loss, and grief and how you can as well.)
It occurred to me today that art, (daily painting, in particular) is healing when we are trying to live through any hailstorm of fear and loss.
Like, say, Covid.
I think focusing on painting one eye a day, or one buddha a day, or one milagro a day or one space alien a day, for thirty days might be one of the best ways to come home to oneself during an unsettling time like we’re living through right now.
Of course, you need not confine yourself to one painting a day to help you stay grounded and open-hearted this month. Many forms of art can heal a broken heart.
You could do one meaningful journaling prompt a day or even one dance a day.
(Here is a wonderful resource list of Bach Flower Remedies for The Broken Hearted.)
In as little as fifteen minutes a day, you can create some peace within. Which you can then lovingly give out to help folks who depend on you in your family, in your community, and in your world.
I can spare fifteen minutes, right?
I figure I can always get back to spending the other twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes of the rest of each day panicking, making hand sanitizer from scratch (oh yes, I have), and generally freaking out instead of helping people in real need.
How To Heal A Broken Heart or Stay Grounded in Uncertain Times with Daily Painting
Are you familiar with daily painting?
If not, listen to the story of Carol Marine founder of The Daily Paint Works on this episode of the Savvy Painter Podcast.
Or peek inside Marine’s book Daily Painting. Find out where this down-to-earth artist finds inspiration for her daily paintings, the techniques involved, and the best ways for you to sell your own daily paintings online.
Do you have a daily painting practice?
If so how has it helped you?
If you gave yourself the gift of doing one quick painting a day to help anchor yourself for the next four weeks what might the subject be?
I would love to hear if you relate to How Art Can Heal A Broken Heart or let me know your thoughts on daily painting, heartbreak, or the impacts of the Coronavirus on you as an artist in the COMMENTS below.
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You might like these other Charmed Studio Posts:
Bye-Bye Facebook: How Artists Can Succeed Without Social Media
How Artists Can Start Writing a Book, With Tea
Frida Kahlo for Artists and Writers: 7 Tips from the Life of a Mexican Maverick
Free Resources
Hi. I found your blog while searching on “how art can heal a broken heart”. I lost my 27-year-old grandson just as we were going into quarantine in March 2020. Those weeks of isolation were filled with tremendous grief. I was lucky enough to realize I needed to create. That was when I started doing mosaics with ceramics and then with stained glass. In the midst of all the emotions involved with grief I found a way to tap into a flow which lifted me out of the morass for hours at a time. With time, my mosaics got better and so did I. It was a saving grace having my art to go to for solace and peace. I also do eyes in my mosaics. The pieces are colorful and bright but the eyes and mouths express something more serious. Practicing my art has brought me back to life. I am so grateful.
Dear Barbara,
I really appreciate you taking the time to share your story about how diving into an art practice granted you some relief from the pain of your great loss. I would love to see your work. I would also love to put a piece of your healing art up as an illustration in this very post to commemorate your grandson and to honor you and your healing art journey. Let me know if you are up for that by responding to this comment here.
What a blessing to have met you, Thea. I cherish our conversations. Talking to you lifts me up and invigorates me. I would have never thought that our conversation would inspire a blog post in you that then could inspire others to create a painting a day too to heal their hearts. It has been my daily reprieve, especially in this pandemic.
Creative expression is my way to connect to the mysterious force/god/higher power, however one wants to call it. I need it daily for soul nourishment. At the end of the day, no matter how the day went, if i have sat down and devoted time and space to bringing forth whatever creative gift is meant to be channeled that day, i feel i had meaning and that I was part of co-creating something beautiful, or at least i created something (sometimes the painting is not beautiful but still, i kept my devotion to the creative spirit no matter what. A day spent loving and creating is a day where i feel in Harmony. I feel closest to my soul when i let my inner critic rest and let watercolors take over control and mix together whatever wants to appear, or if i sit at the piano and receive a beautiful melody. We are all blessed with creative gifts i believe. It is a question of battling against the resistance that meets us at the beginning of the creative process. Overcoming the resistance at the beginning and accepting it as part of the creative process has helped me to actually produce art work. There is freedom in discipline, i discovered.
I love that you created this ‘charmed studio blog” that nourishes creative souls. So grateful for you!
Thanks so much for allowing me to share your story with my readers and now for this inspiring comment. I really value your point here: “At the end of the day, no matter how the day went, if i have sat down and devoted time and space to bringing forth whatever creative gift is meant to be channeled that day, i feel i had meaning and that I was part of co-creating something beautiful, or at least i created something (sometimes the painting is not beautiful but still, i kept my devotion to the creative spirit no matter what. A day spent loving and creating is a day where i feel in Harmony.” So so true for me too. And I also think your point about resistance so true for artists as well. Sharing your story and your creative bravery are exactly why I created The Charmed Studio. We can all help each other find more meaning in our lives through our art.
Thanks so much for this great post. I’ve found that for the most part, since my social isolation began (day 21 for me now) I’ve been working almost everyday in my home studio. I’ll admit that on some days I’ve really had to make myself go there and a few days, when I’ve felt overwhelmed, I’ve even given it a pass (with no guilt).
For a daily practice, I’ve been exploring the little mundane things that seem so special right now. I’m making tiny zines fold books called “The little things I love” -simple things like tea, bees, the roses in my garden and the wrens that live there,too. I’ve posted them on Instagram @janeebeemuse. I find Instagram is a great way to stay in touch with and to see what other artists friends are doing with their art this time. Stay well!
Janee you are very welcome. I am glad I wrote this post if only to hear about your “The Little Things I Love” series. What a smashing idea. So inspiring for me. I want to try something like that and see what all mine are and what I am probably taking for granted every day. I think you are using Instagram in the way it was meant for. I feel like at its invention Instagram was the ultimate creative social app. It was not necessarily supposed to be about having to do a promotional grind. It was meant as a visual celebration tool of the now moment in creative people’s lives. I had a Insta account but I put it on pause because I was freaked out by the 24/7 marketing energy i was picking up. I would have loved to have been getting your daily treasures then but we hadn’t met yet. Maybe I will sign back up. Keep up the good work. You rock.
oh I also wanted to know how your series is being received? I bet people love it.
Thanks, I’ve had lots of ❤️‘s and several “I Love this!” comments so I think it’s being well received😊
Awesome to hear. And makes sense people love your beautiful work. It seems when we “effort” serious projects into being they don’t always get a great reception (well that has been my experience)—but when we bust out the whimsy and just do something for the joy of it so many more people come around or sparkly gypsy vardo wagon and want to see what we are up to in there.
Very timely and an uplifting read. Thank you. I have been working in my studio daily and am on day 21 of social isolation. The distancing from friends and my volunteer work has given me a fresh perspective on the importance of friendship and nurturing fellow artists. My own work has become more important to me as an outlet for the stress of these unusual times. My painting style is changing a bit too bringing more abstract shapes into the realism I am attracted to. “Loosening up” would be a good term. I am forwarding your blog to the 47 artists in our group.
Thank you Linda for your observations about how you and your painting process are changing as a result of responsible social isolation because of the virus. It prompts me to think more about this for my own life with friends and my own work. I am truly honored that you are forwarding something I wrote to your artist group. I hope it helps any of them who read it in some small way. That kind of thing (helping artists to uplift other artists) is exactly why I started this blog and continue to work on it every day. Sending you energy for your new painting adventure. Looking foward to seeing your new work! Very exciting. Thea
This is really great. I’m not an artist unless you count stick figures of horses. I do want to find an outlet and since my thing is humor, I’m trying to come up with something that might give people a little relief from all this stress but no offend. A fine line. I will come up with something. Thank you for the push!
Stick figures are dear to my heart. My Dad would leave them on the bottom of his letters to me, I think they can be quite expressive and funny in their limited way. But your comment makes me think what could actors and comedians do creatively every day to maintain their sanity? Any ideas from classes you’ve taken in theatre?
I have to think about this. I do have a really interesting idea I’m gonna have to run it by you. Because you’re so good at this kind of thing.
Okay Denise, can’t wait to hear it. Be well.
Howdy Thea,
An inspiring blog. Thank you. And Ms. Harlequin Boots, too.
I think it wonderful, and also such a down to earth pragmatically good thing that Ms. Boots (and you) steer us toward. Each of us has a place, a thing, an artful ACTION to take that can – will – pull us back into the stream of our lives. I appreciate very much also the comments by others, echoing Ms. Boots’ call to do even a little. It takes time to venture back into that stream, maybe all we can do at first is stick a toe in… that’s how it’s been for me, over and over in my life. At times, I’ve not been able to even do simple pruning, or even fertilizing in the garden. Some days, all I’ve been able to manage is a short stroll into the garden… well, no, a short, stumbling, half-blind walk interspersed by leaning on trees, feeling the moss and bark digging into my forehead, reminding me that I’m still here, and so is the tree, and the ground, and the ants going up and down the trunk, and all the whole astonishing mess of life. And that it is not about me, necessarily, that life is about life, and that I am, thank God, (or for you, whatever, whoever, whichever Great Mystery is in action) somehow given this opportunity to experience it. And so life reinvigorates me, again, and again. As I age, I find myself increasingly grateful for the life I’ve been blessed with. It is a mighty thing.
Thank you again, and thank you to all the people we are in relationship with, helping and loving. As your quote from Ram Dass says, “We are [indeed] all just walking each other home.” How marvelous!
My first reaction is, ‘when is this man going to write a book or start a blog?’ You are a natural philospher/story teller who could use your stories and photos in the garden as a way of helping others in their daily lives. Folks like me. Just saying.
Ok Back at the ranch. Thank you for your wonderful insights here. I loved your aknowledging that somedays we can just stick a toe in and lean on a tree to try to remember who the hell we are. And that is more than enough.
It reminded me of the wise actions of a friend I had a few decades ago when I temporarily lived in the Midwest. She introduced me to Gabrielle Roth’s work with dance for healing. My memory now is we went to this public free form dance class and the teacher explained the five rythms (5 minute musical pieces) you would encounter in sequence through the 25 minute dance/healing session. The rythms went as follows: Flow, Lyrical, Stacatto, Choas and Stillness. You could do whatever movements felt right to you through each one. You could spin through the “lyrical” segment, jump up and down through “staccatto” , move gently in “flow” , flap about through chaos, etc. There were a lot of professional dancers in the class and I was my twenties and a bit nervous and self concious. The music began. Everyone was making a lot of amazing dancer -like movements. Well everyone but my friend —who began on the floor in a ball and stayed in a ball or variations on a ball theme– for pretty much the whole time. As she told me later that was just her way that day of doing her best, working out her sh#T as she put it. I was embarrased for her at first ,as these Alvin Ailey types were jette-ing over her ball-like form—- but then saw the magic of it later. My brave friend was her putting her toe in, honestly and feeling it at the highest level she could at the moment. She was in her forties then and more of a free spirit than me, without my past approval issues. Now that I look back in time as someone in my 50’s I see we all have rolling on floor days or leaning on tree days -if we are honest about it. And we are the better for them. It takes great bravery to aknowledge where we are and do what little we can to move foward in a real way. Thank you for the reminder.
I love this post!! It’s simple. Clear as a bell. And I don’t feel overwhelmed like I have to do a million things. Thank you thea. ☺☺😘 you heal my heart with your wisdom and warm cozy humorous writing. 😍😍
Most of the time I don’t feel very wise but thanks so much for saying so. You are a creative inspiration for me.
Oh I just loved what Lauren said and I agree wholeheartedly. It’s a major bonus of being a working artist….we tap into the muse everyday and the muse is that part of ourselves that bridges the gap between physical/mind and what I like to call the deep blue. It’s effortless and natural and opens us to balance, healing, inspiration, wisdom…you know, all the good stuff.
I know that during times when I wasn’t creating, life became dull, full of meaningless mundane activities. I’ll never forget the day a good friend saw me spiralling downward. She took me to a shop and bought me a sketchbook and pencils. I drew her daughter that afternoon and could have wept with the relief of it. It was a major life lesson…never stop creating!
I love that story Laura,wow, wow, wow. And I am moved by your concept of the “deep blue.” What a perfect way to express it. You have managed to give words and voice to something ineffabl. A water metaphor makes so much sense to me. It feels right. You are cool. And hella smart.
I have been an art educator for over twenty years. The soul making kind. I paint. Beyond any therapy I have submerged myself into (and believe me there have been a lot ) just to find myself quickly scrambling for the surface- for the sheer empty feeling of being left in some kind of uncharted waters alone and unconnected.
ART, whether painting, writing, dancing, or just grounding my individual expression in the soil of the earth or hearth of my kitchen, has brought me face to face with my beautiful sacred essence quicker than anything else I have witnessed. Direct line, flow, conduit, auric field, god, higher self or our deva seeing place, does not matter what you call it but I know we all at some time in our lives we have felt ourselves within it. I have had the privilege to observe time and time again deep healing take place when people enter the portal of their creative selves. Sometimes it’s utter surprise, like meeting a friend they had not seen in quite awhile. Sometimes it’s joy, but often- at first it’s a journey that takes us to the threshold of our shadow…but there is always another more enriched and wiser layer of self we get to meet- just waiting on the other side.
Thank you Thea for your mentorship, and encouraging to put in the 15 minutes a day to my writing. This sometimes feels like a chore just counting the minutes till it ends. Other times writing has become an all day love affair, canceling appointments just not to break the flow- the dance- creative essence. My return to the love of self.
Holy Jesus, thank you for your inspiring thoughts Lauren. I am about to go for a walk and want to let what you just wrote roll around in my head a bit and get down into the root areas. More soon.
Okay, I am back. I think you give several great examples of what I was trying to communicate in the post. For creatives, art-making is our North Star. It guides us back home to our best selves, a self with a connection to spirit and a self that has the answers to what we need to do to live out our unique soul callings in this life. Regular art-making can take us out of/away from the fearful, impoverished, fearful ego- self and keep us in touch with the activated, liberated, resource-rich soul-self.
Thanks, Lauren for your work and for your valuable insights.
This is such a good idea, Art really is the best therapy. I think I’ll try one drawing a day, and instead of choosing a subject ahead of time, I’ll draw the first thing that pops into my head when I pick up the pencil, pen, or whatever. Maybe I’ll end up with a story?
As always, thanks for the great inspiration!
Cheers,
Laura
What a great idea to not have an idea!!!! So smart. Limitless ideas can than spring up. Thanks so much for commenting. Please keep me posted on what pops up for you in your art this month. xo Thea
Before I got back into painting, I used knitting for many years while sitting in waiting rooms during my son’s Autism therapies. It was like a form of relaxation mixed with meditation and it helped me be a kinder mom when I needed to be.
Oh Rebecca, thanks for sharing that. Knitting is such a smart way to go. I can just see you in that waiting room, knitting. And that serene image reminds me that there are times the demands of the outside world or family are just too great to paint or write because it requires a different kind of focus and presence we just don’t have at that time. I’ve been there too. But it’s good to hear from one another and share some ways to get back up the mountain slowly and start again. I love that quote from poet William Stafford; “Dawn comes, it comes for us all — but not on demand.”