How & Why To Craft Charming Notes: In 3 Easy Steps
By Thea Fiore Blom, PhD
Yesterday, my cell phone betrayed me – again.
It was 6:30 am.
I checked my email before I got out of bed.
Nothing.
Crickets.
Not even a bill from Spectrum.
Never mind receiving anything juicy, like an uplifting personal message from another human.
But I suddenly remembered that this unsightly inbox didn’t mean I was a loser.
(If you’ve ever faced a disheartening inbox, you’re not a loser either!)
It meant I’d forgotten to do something important laid out for me in a little red book by Carolyn See.
Carolyn See: The Inventor of “Charming Notes”
Carolyn See (1934-2016) was my Tony Robbins.
She was a beloved professor at UCLA, a Guggenheim fellow, and best known for her novels, such as The Handyman.
But I love her most for a ten-page chapter in her tiny non-fiction book Making a Literary Life: Advice for Writers and Other Dreamers.
This chapter, entitled “Charming Notes,” is where Carolyn See famously advises writers (and artists) to:
“Write a thousand words a day – and! – one charming note, five days a week, for the rest of your life […].” (38)
What are Charming Notes?
If you’re an aspiring writer, you know about writing daily.
But what did See mean when she said, “Send a charming note?”
Charming notes are next-level thank-you letters (and next-level emails or comments on YouTube videos, etc) that you send to writers and artists whose work has inspired you.
Charming notes are a way to express gratitude.
To fill your heart.
To fill someone else’s.
And they’re a grand way to avoid an inbox that betrays you.
Because when you write these charming notes to other creatives, they often write back to you.
But the notes do much more than that.
“These notes are like paper airplanes sailing around the world, and they accomplish several things at once.”
– Carolyn See (41)
Here are 5 reasons to send a Charming Note whenever you think of it.
5 Reasons Smart Creatives Send Charming Notes
1. Charming notes tell a stranger, “Your work is good and admirable! You’re not laboring in a vacuum. There are people out in the world who know what you do and respect it”(41)
2. The notes will uplift you because, “‘The notes are also saying, ‘I exist too. In the same world as you. Isn’t that amazing?'”, wrote See (41).
3. Thirdly, See believed a charming note could say “Want to play?” (41)
4. You get to make art. See suggests artists like us doodle in the letter’s margin. Or even write the text of your charming note on the white space at the bottom of a watercolor you send. (44)
5. Finally, these notes help you form what I see as a magical Indra’s Net of contacts/comrades in your field. Here’s an example.
The best-selling, self-published book, Theo of Golden, broke every rule in publishing. But the author and his kind family followed every rule of See’s Charming Notes.
Who To Send Charming Notes To
Here is a list of folks you can send a charming note to this week.
- A famous oil painter who excites your creativity.
- An aspiring artist who just started posting her work online.
- A non-fiction author whose book helped you do something better.
- A journalist, blogger, or vlogger you follow.
- An author or agent you respect.
- Gallerists whose galleries fill you with wonder.
- Some sculptor or glassmaker who makes you sigh.
But 5 days a week? How about once a month? That’s good too.
What if even one charming note sounds scary?
Carolyn See’s students were terrified to write even one charming note – at first.
Me too.
Recently, my coaching practice leaped to a new level.
Because I implemented a suggestion a creativity coach gave in a YouTube interview.
I explored her idea of offering intensive, “Done-in-a-Day” coaching programs with certain clients in person in a cozy setting like my house.
Clients loved it, and their books got done!
So, I wanted to write her a Charming Note.
But I froze.
What was I supposed to say?
Then I remembered that Carolyn See left directions.
How Do You Write a Charming Note? (Use this Easy Template)
I’ll sum up See’s tips/suggestions here:
Your note can consist of just three paragraphs.
No more than three sentences per paragraph!
- In the first paragraph, say what you think is great about their book, class, painting, etc.
- Your second paragraph is for telling the author or artist you admire why their work touched you personally.
- And take your third paragraph to politely mention that you’re excited to buy, watch, or read what this person might create next. (41)
(To get more details on See’s advice on ideal stationery for your notes, or how these notes help you in the business side of writing, borrow Making a Literary Life, and suss out pp. 37-47)
But wait!
See insisted that you leave certain words out of your note.
What to Leave Out of Your Charming Note
“These notes are just notes. You don’t want to burden some poor wretch with the entire story of your life. You absolutely don’t want to ask them for a favor, as in:
“Hello, I really like your work. Enclosed please find my 800-page manuscript on giant lizards who live under the earth – and throw massive lizard conventions! – in the state of Arizona .”
Don’t offer to go and live with them.
Remember what your mother taught you about thank-you notes, if she bothered.
Be gracious.
You’re entering into an emotional and spiritual courtship with the literary world that will last the rest of your life” (See, 41).
Know this: not everyone will write you back.
See said, “So what? So what, so what, so what?”(46).
She’s right. Write the note for you.
Because, as Voltaire said:
“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”
– Voltaire
The Happy Ending Charming Notes Can Bring
But near the end of a quarter at school, miracles sometimes transpired for students “forced” to write charming notes by Professor See.
“Then sometimes they sail into class with wide, astonished smiles.
‘Jane Smiley wrote me back! She says that she is glad I liked A Thousand Acres!’ or
‘Anne Lamott says she is tickled to death I read Rosie.’
Or one sweet woman came in, beside herself, with a nice note from Michael Crichton.
“It’s like getting a note from Snow White or the angel Gabriel. There’s a wonderful feeling to it,” said See.
The Response to My Charming Note
Speaking of happy endings, remember that famous coach I was so terrified to write to?
She wrote me back last week.
As fate would have it, she received my email on the beach, on the first day of a retreat she took outside the US.
On this retreat, she was examining the value of her work to others.
She was so happy because my note affirmed that her work was serving others, in the exact way she intended.
That made me slide around my kitchen in my socks like Tom Cruise in “Risky Business”.
All creatives, from the shy beginner to the Grammy winner, have dark days when we question the worth of our work.
And we all need a hand up over the wall sometimes, right?.
And doesn’t it feel great to give or receive that hand?
Final Thought on Charming Notes
I hope that on our creative deathbeds, we smile, knowing we spent some of our allotted time here on earth writing charming notes that pulled a few fellow brave, wild, valkyrie-like artists up and over their walls.
Knowing you, I bet you’ve already left many emails glimmering like winged gems in the inboxes of other artists.
You’ve already enhanced the stream of another artist’s life, whether they wrote you back or not.
Keep it up, on the regular.
“The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent
that it changes the world you see.”
– Dr. Robert Holden
May each note you write in the future remind you:
- They broke the mold when they made you.
- We need you here.
- And that your work matters.
You might enjoy these other posts by the Charmed Studio:
How Do I Get More Comments on My Art Blog? 7 Secrets You Won’t Hear Anywhere Else
2 Best Laptops for Artists On a Budget: Skyrocket Your Self-Esteem With the Right Computer
This post may contain Amazon affiliate links. This means if you buy books or stuff via my blog I may receive a tiny commission and do a happy dance. There is no extra fee for you. I only link to items I personally use and love; products that I think help heart-centered artists.
I didn’t know Art Mail was a thing. But I enjoyed it as a kid and have continued it to this day. Hearing this in your post has helped me identify this rooted love to uplift others and do it through how I know-art.
And that definitely carried through to influencing my business and brand packaging experience.
One of my favorite Charmed Notes from Thea is, “Remember your art is always there for you.” Thank you, I needed to hear that today.
As usual a wonderful post. Looking forward to the next one!💎🪽
Gill, thank you. Your art is always there for you, and so am I.
Your packaging is just as magical as your jewelry.
I bet people comment about that on your Etsy shop.
Keep making art and art mail and loving people as you do.
You are a healer. And I am blessed to know you.
Thea, Thea, Thea you amazing human! Thank you for this delicious podcast and blog. I don’t know quite how you do this, but I always feel so seen, understood and un-alone as a creative in the world after listening and/or reading your work.
Your vulnerability in admitting an empty in-box left you a bit rattled – I felt that! I’ve been there! I find myself wondering what the heck has happened to my bandwidth in the world! And here you’ve given us a formula for both self-compassion AND compassion for other creators in the world! An ACTION we can take! I love it!
I can hardly wait for your next podcast, blog or BOOK for creatives (nudge nudge wink wink)
You make the creative world less lonely. Thank you deeply.
xoxoxo
Lola
Oh wow wow Lola. Thank you! Thank you for saying you have had days when you have felt forlorn after peering into your inbox. That alone means a ton to me. And I love your selection of the word compassion here. Yes, these notes are about Compassion for ourselves and compassion for other artists. I did not think to use that word here but that is just the ticket!
I love this idea! I am going to start doing more note writing after reading this. Thanks for this reminder of what we should be doing!
Hey Gerri!
I am so pleased you will give it a try. As an author, this will be so good for you I bet. Even writing 1 charming note a week makes a big difference in my life. To be honest I don’t do See’s 5 a week yet. But I have been shooting for 1 a week. And even that has been wild. Let me know who you would send one to this week if you try it.
Who is the first author you have in mind?
I had to leave this out of the post for brevity reasons but it may help you, so I include it here. Let me know if you have a question.
But How Do I Find the Address of the Artist or Writer?
Many authors dont list their physical address or email online.
So, how do you find the address of the artist or writer you just wrote this charming note to?
You just need to send it to their agent or publisher, who will gladly pass it on to them.
Google the “xyz publisher’s name, contact us” and you will get the info.
To find an author’s publisher, look on the bottom of the spine of a physical book of theirs. Or visit the library or a bookstore.
Or go online. Find the book’s page on Amazon and press the “see inside” function if available.Scan down in the front matter till you see the publisher’s name, and the physical address will usually be right underneath.
To find an author’s agent, look in the acknowledgments of their latest book. They often give a shout-out to their agent.
Then, Google “xyz agent’s name, contact info” to get an email or physical mailing address.
If artists don’t list an email or mailing address, send it to them via their gallery or their publisher if they have authored a book.