Are You An Artist Who Has Been Crushed by a Troll?
Something From Georgia O’Keeffe’s Bedroom May Help
“Courage is […] mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”— Mark Twain
By Thea Fiore-Bloom, PhD
Artist Georgia O’Keeffe can help creatives with fear in general, and trolls in particular.
How?
First, we need to ask why minimalist Georgia O’Keeffe had a sculpture of a hand displaying the abhaya mudra (no fear) plastered into her bedroom wall?
Because fear was O’Keeffe’s lifelong companion.
And how the artist walked with her fear in the past can help artists in the present.
One of my favorite quotes of Georgia O’Keeffe was taken from an interview she gave when she was 80 years old. O’Keeffe admitted:
“I’m frightened all the time. Scared to death. But I’ve never let it stop me. Never.”
— Georgia O’Keeffe
Fear as Fuel For O’Keeffe
“Whether in modulating physical risks or forcing professional ones, fear never became the enemy in O’Keeffe’s life; instead it served as an energizing fuel,” writes Sharon Rohlfsen Udall in her excellent book, Carr, O’Keeffe, and Kahlo: Places of Their Own.
Fear As Fuel For Creatives
If fear is fuel, NASA should be calling me any minute to have me donate my vast quantities of high-octane fear to cleanly power their next space launch.
But I guess just sitting around waiting for someone else to transform one’s fear into fuel isn’t the answer.
So I offer a real-life example of a colleague of mine who actually displays “The Right Stuff.”
How To Tromp A Troll
A while back Christy, a kind, vivacious British artist I know, logged in as usual to her DA account.
But on this particular morning, Christy saw something that would freak out most creatives — a nasty comment from an internet troll.
“It was incredibly juvenile, said Christy.
The troll had written: ‘Wow your art sucks ass. My grandma makes better art than you.’
I wasn’t feeling really confident about my art at the time. So it was as if I was kicked by someone after I was already down.
Being vulnerable as an individual in front of a pack is really scary.
I panicked.
I shut down my account.
But time went by and I thought about it.
I remembered that for me, art is not supposed to be about people liking what I make. (Although of course, it makes me happy when people do!) I also realized that fear of vulnerability dogs all artists. I was no different than everyone else.”
Christy’s a hero of mine because:
1. She mustered up the courage to open a new DA account despite her fear.
2. She was brave enough to reach out to her friends on the site and share her experience for the benefit of others.
Christy received an outpouring of support.
Post-Troll Better Than Pre-Troll
I believe that thwarting a troll, combined with the uplifting support of her true community, contributed to a renaissance in Christy’s art practice.
In my opinion, Christy’s post-troll work is better than pre-troll.
How can an artist tromp a troll?
Christy showed me a way.
You feel scared but make a ton of new art anyway.
“The troll experience seems to have done a turn around in my head after which I’ve come back fighting,” said Christy.
“Oddly— I feel more secure in myself. It’s as if someone’s throwing rocks at me has allowed me to grow a kind of rock-resistant veneer.”
And then there is also this point:
“Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker’s game because they almost always turn out to be—or to be indistinguishable from—self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time.”
― Author,
Cross the River Anyway
O’Keeffe and Christy teach me I don’t have to deny when I feel terrified.
Nor do I need to stay frozen in that terror or shame.
The new game plan is to admit my knees are shaking… and get my butt across the river anyway.
“I’m still not completely rock proof,” said Christy.” I’m still human. I still think a future comment from a troll would hurt me.”
“But the difference is; I feel like I’ll stay standing this time.”
______________________________
This post is dedicated to the memory of my Dad, a crazy-brave union organizer who told me: “Remember, on the right day, you can take on anything.”
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Love it. This makes me feel strong and inspired. The images are absolutely breathtaking!!!! Thank you for another incredible gift of thought.
Thanks so much Gale for reading my work and leaving such encouraging comments. 🙂 I was just thinking of you and how you help people so much in your practice 2 minutes ago. I added these two questions to this piece based on wise things you have said to me on the topic of fear in the past:
1. Do you have a fear that is based on the opinion of others?
2. Is there a way to turn that fear into fuel?
Everyday, every decision I make I”ve terrified and I think a lot of that is based in my own limitations and some in others. I remember you telling me once. I know your feeling super anxious but never once have I seen it stop you. You just keep bumping along through it. I will always remember that!
I turn it into fuel as much as I can sometimes just keeping moving is how i do it.
In the words of Sade- “It’s not that complicated but your gonna need a bullet proof soul”
I support an artist on patreon: Monica Knighton making a gorgeous tarot deck based on the poem the stolen child. She has had some nasty trolls recently. I felt so bad for her and am going to try to get this blog to her somehow. Can I copy the link somehow?
lots of words coming to me today. Brene Brown: “Don’t try to win over the haters, you are not a jackass whisperer.” 🙂
Wow, I never read that poem till now. A world unto itself isn’t it? Thanks for mentioning Monica’s work as well. It is wondrous isn’t it? Really up there. I would say equal to Beatrix Potter’s illustrations. But she has kind of CS Lewis, Narnian feel running thru her work as well. So cool of you to be a patron for her project. Yes please send her the post: Here is the link: https://thecharmedstudio.com/okeeffe-on-dealing-with-fear-and-trolls/
Love that Brown quote and thanks for continued support of my writing with your comments. Means the world to me.
“If fear is fuel, NASA should be calling me any minute to have me donate my vast quantities of high-octane fear to cleanly power their next space launch.”
I need that on a bumper sticker! LOL.
A favorite quote of mine from Sir Roger Scruton resonates for me with your great new column:
“Human beings live in in mutual accountability, each answerable to the other and each the object of judgment. The eyes of others address us with an unavoidable question `why?’ On this fact is built the edifice of rights and duties. And this, in the end, is what our freedom consists in- the responsibility to account for what we do.”
For me, being able to answer the `why’ question ensures that I am becoming solid in my belief of why I am doing something. Does it represent what I truly want to express? And why?
Sometimes answering the `why’ question is the scariest part.
Yes! Answering the Why question for ourselves is terrifying! More high-octane terror. But ultimately,uniquely fulfilling. Answering “the why question” for myself was the real reason I started the blog. Getting back to why I/we write, why we make art, why we act seemed so important to me. I think we are being stampeded with how, what , when info from our constant connection to media, social and other wise. It makes me peaceful to think of Sir Scruton the country squire on the land thinking deep thoughts as the sheep pass by. Where are my sheep damn it?
When we loose the connection to the natural world we lose our footing.
Thanks so much for writing John, and for writing in.
You write the greatest, kick Ass blogs!! Once again this is inspirational and I can truly relate. I challenge myself and do things that scare me all the time. I kind of don’t know why, I thought I was just a masochist. But there’s
something about conquering that fear and doing it that is so rewarding. I was scared shitless when I first did stand up. Every time I audition and get a part I’m scared I can’t do it. And when I started this Trump booth of mine, it was one scary thing. I had no idea what kind of people I would have come up to me. For some crazy reason I’m always thinking of something else that scares me or challenges me and then I just say I will do it. It is really a wonderful thing to conquer your fear’s and know that you have it in you to do it. Thank you Thea for writing a wonderful piece once again.
Denise you’re a gem. I write the blog just hoping some folks out there in the ethers will relate like you did to this piece.
I hear what you are saying about not knowing why you do what you do. ME TOO! There is no other way to live though is there? Once you start leaping and the nets start appearing, you get hooked. You feel crazy to leap again, but you know life without leaping- isn’t really living. Right? Cheers to all of us mad, creative, leapers!
Thanks for sharing Christy’s experience with trolls. I recall when I was writing for the Beautiful Wildlife Garden Blog, with a team of excellent wildlife native garden writers, trolls would find us. They would criticize some of the opinions we held and ideas we pomoted. The leader of our group had the option to keep troll spam out. But often she would leave the comments in. Because it created a conversation. And generated more interest in our site and what we were about.
Interesting. What a different way to see it. Can you give me an example of something someone challenged you on in a piece you wrote that was trollish?
Anytime one is brave enough to share their art with the world they are open to trolling. So many times I’ve felt knocked to my knees by the trolls, starting with my mother! But allowing myself to process this is the greatest gift I give myself. Sitting with it helps me stand up again, stronger. Thankyou for sharing this. It’s hard to imagine Georgia being riddled with fear but perhaps her living in the middle of nowhere helps explain it. I share that living choice and know that I am quite fearful. But with the peace comes strength.
Good point that trolling can begin at home.
Countless artists, both young and old, have told me the reason they got off facebook was they couldn’t take the mean comments about their art from their own family members.