Want This To Be The Year You Open Up to the Best Work of Your Life?
By Thea Fiore-Bloom, Ph.D.
What did Picasso, Anselm Keiffer, Goya, Kara Walker, Votan Henriquez, Alison Saar, and Diane Arbus, do that many of us are scared to do?
They created art that boldly drew attention to shadow aspects of themselves or society that many artists would shy away from.
Understandably, shadow exploration via your art is not for everyone.
But if you’re an artist like me, who is tired of spackling over things that won’t stay spackled, join me to look at five benefits (and four caveats) that two maverick artists have discovered from looking within.
5 Benefits of Drawing Inspiration From Your Shadow Side
Shadow Side Painting Benefit 1.
Bringing Peace To Pain and Diminishing Guilt
For nearly ten years after the crushing experience of her partner’s suicide in their home, artist Kat Bergman endured a reoccurring dream.
A dream she never had to endure again after she honored her compulsion to paint it.
“I entitled the painting “David’s Decision.” I cannot tell you what that painting did for me.” The work opened a door of art and healing for Bergman.
“I used to live a life of guilt. Pile on poor self-esteem, abusive relationships, and then Dave— I denied the guilt about his suicide out loud and to everyone I talked to, but deep inside I felt it was my fault,” said Bergman.
“Years later I finally addressed that guilt and for the most part I’m now free of that anchor.”
Bergman also thinks that “David’s Decision” and the paintings that followed, allowed her to let go of a great deal of anger, self-pity, confusion, and hurt.
“After I painted “David’s Decision,” I felt like I could love him again. I felt respect for him again and I felt at peace with wherever he was and for where I am today.”
Bergman is a full-time professional artist now in California and has since remarried.
“I feel so fortunate to have my art as a catalyst, and I’m grateful that I discovered a forever resource that enables me to speak of any unspeakable things that are within me now or in the future.”
Caveat 1. But You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
“You don’t have jump into making from the shadow — solo if you don’t want to. Actually, for some artists it may be best not to,” said LCSW Gale Nienhuis. Nienhuis advises you to consider doing the work in the way Hershberger and Bergman did; in conjunction with a supportive online group, offline community, art therapist, or talk therapist.
“When you open an interior box that contains a lot of grief or trauma it can lead to all kinds of wonderful places but sometimes you may find yourself in a Pandora’s box type of place, where you need some backup,” said Nienhuis.
Shadow Side Painting Benefit 2.
Peak Painting Potential
For Bergman, “Being real and dealing with things that happened to me through my art has allowed me to charge my art with raw life. It has grown my practice and in turn, I have grown as an artist also.”
Do shadow issues hold peak painting potential for you and me as well?
Many long-time patrons of artist Carlynne Hershberger’s have told her that “Silent Voices,” (her ongoing series begun in 2007 which explores the dark side of the adoption industry) is her best work ever. Hershberger agrees and said she feels more assured and inspired as a painter than she ever has before when she works on the series.
“It absolutely could, because it’s so personal,” said Hershberger. “If you are putting a lot of meaning and so much of yourself into a work it’s bound to come out on the canvas. You’re totally invested in it. It’s not about approval or sales or what the market wants, it’s just about you— and people can often see and sense that in the work.”
Hershberger was inspired to write a book Silent Voices that features the painting series alongside her narrative about adoption, from the natural mother’s point of view.
Caveat 2: Lower Your Expectations
Though you may soar higher than you have in decades when you make art inspired from a difficult place within, be kind to yourself and keep expectations low.
Do this in order to give yourself the freedom to make unappealing, chaotic, or nonsensical art if that is what needs to be let out.
There are no rules.
Shadow Side Painting Benefit 3.
Shadow Work Has Its Audience
It may seem counterintuitive, but occasionally shadow pieces are highly appealing and important to art buyers. Especially those who see their own life stories reflected in the work or find solace or hope in what an artist has depicted.
Bergman has sold several pieces of work that examined trauma.
“In one instance, I painted a piece about a very scary surgery that I went through which involved my eyesight, it had a mysterious darkness in it and it sold because the buyer felt some peace within it –the aftermath perhaps.”
Although Bergman says she feels every bit of pain as she is painting pieces inspired by hard topics, the resulting works have been described by others as having a “victorious feel,” specifically a victory over darkness.
The Light In Darkness
“Maybe people want my darker pieces in their home,” said Bergman, “because the painting reminds the buyer that someone else, the woman who made the art, has faced things; deep fears that everyone faces, and lived to tell about it.
And perhaps they look at the work and feel more hopeful that they too can survive their own pain.” Bergman has also given away several shadow pieces to those especially touched by them.
Caveat 3: None of It May Ever Sell, Do It For Yourself Anyway
Darker pieces typically won’t fly off gallery walls.
But most artists don’t mind.
“Even if it didn’t lead to anything art business-related, making art about darker issues gives artists greater insight into themselves, said Hershberger whose Silent Voices series is currently not for sale.
“It’s such a personal journey. Who knows what it could lead to? It could bring joy or it could bring healing from a past issue. You don’t know until you go there. It might be scary but I think the risk is worth it.”
“Whether you show it or keep it private, you’ll still be rewarded for your efforts to make it,” said Hershberger. “I didn’t show anyone my paintings about adoption for a long time and that was just fine.”
Shadow Side Painting Benefit 4.
Shadow Work Can Lead To A Wonderful New Series
“Around 2002 I got to reunite with my daughter, and my other two children were starting college,” said Hershberger. “Empty nests and eggs must have been on my mind, and by 2007 I put some imagery of them in the adoption series.”
In 2016 Hershberger was feeling in a rut with her landscapes, which she loves making.
“I’ve always been intrigued by nests and around that time a family of wrens had been making its usual square nest at the back of my mailbox,” said Hershberger. She extracted that season’s abandoned nest and painted it, then saved another and painted that.
Nests As Bridges Between Worlds
People began giving Hershberger found nests and she painted those as well. Hershberger’s studio is now filled with an assortment of nests. “The nests became a bridge between my two painting worlds (landscape and adoption), as well as a symbol that has great meaning for me.”
Shadow Side Painting Benefit 5.
Community, Within and Without
Shadow artwork can help you befriend yourself.
Like many artists, Bergman is a self-described introvert. “I am socially awkward, and I avoid relationships. Outside of my husband and close family I don’t tell my struggles to others very much.”
But since embarking on the internal journey set in motion by “David’s Decision,” Bergman has an additional ally in her life who wasn’t present before, an inner confidante who deeply understands.
Shadow artwork can also open the doors to understanding in the outside world. Bergman first only shared “David’s Decision” with a support group for people dealing with grief.
“I had so many people tell me how the painting helped them and gave them hope,” said Bergman. “As you can imagine, this was incredibly rewarding for me as well.”
There is certain trauma that is too hard to wrap your head around unless you’ve undergone it yourself.
When artists find people who experienced the same exact thing there is a special connection.
Shadow Sides Connecting
“Mothers of adoption loss and adoptees have a unique experience and perspective,” said Hershberger. “One of the most healing things for me was finding other mothers who went through the same thing.”
Hershberger thinks the “Silent Voices” paintings extended the hand of healing to other women as well. “Some women see the paintings online and think – ‘Yeah, she gets it.’ Many of them also seem to relate to the nest paintings, which came later.
Caveat 5: Possible Pushback from Shadow-Inspired Art
Bergman has dealt with negative reception for her suicide-related work when she shared it in a gallery setting.
“The live showings to co-artists and the gallery reception were pretty much the same as I have experienced in life—people still recoil and don’t want to talk about suicide,” said Bergman. “I think the stigma is alive and well.”
Hershberger has experienced pushback in public too. “If you show the work in public and it’s controversial, be prepared to be censored or have people try to censor you. If you take on a more activist role, as I have online, you really have to develop a thick skin.”
A Final Note on Creating from Your Dark Side
Here are a few final words of encouragement from Bergman for artists like me who want to do shadow inspired work but are big chickens:
“Just hold your nose and jump in!” said Bergman.
“You can only heal when you open the wound and clean it out.”
“You have to be willing to understand that it will not make you any worse to do the work.”
“It will only help you to heal. There may be a treasure inside waiting for you to discover.”
Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside, awakes. — Carl Gustav Jung
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What do you think?
Have you ever painted, sculpted or done any process work that was inspired by a difficult time in your life?
Or have you ever been drawn to the work of another because it mirrored your own struggles?
I would love to know and it may help other creatives to know too.
Please leave a comment below.
A version of this article originally appeared in the June 2018 issue of Professional Artist Magazine.
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You might also like these Charmed Studio posts:
Remedios Varo: For Artists and Writers
Van Gogh Probably Didn’t Kill Himself? How The Real Story Affirms Artists
Alison Saar: Disrupting Classical Literature To Create Epic Modern Art
51 Blog Post Topics for Heart-Centered Artists for 2020
I love this so much! It’s so true about the darker side. As an actress I can really relate to this because Hollywood it’s all about youth but until you experienced every aspect of life which only comes with aging. I got a part in a short film right when my mom was dying. In the film I was dying and had to project very dark and deep emotions of sadness and grief. Well I could tap into that because of my mom. You have to experience that kind of darkness to play it. You know I was thinking about mental illness and how hard it is for our culture to except it as a very important issue. Artist should be free and open to express that in their work and it would help other people.
I love seeing all the amazing works of art in your blog and hear directly from their creators of their processes. Some of my best work emerged from entering and embracing these dark places. Well done, Thea!
Great point Sylvia, some of the “best works of art emerge from entering and embracing dark places,” I couldn’t have set it any better. Thanks for your continued support as a reader.
What brave and beautiful artists, thank you for sharing their stories and work. It takes courage and self awareness too express such a vulnerable aspect of life. Kudos!
Laura, thank you for your comment. It is scary to put this kind of work out there. It’s much scarier to share it than to paint it. The painting of it is therapeutic. It helps to cope with emotion and trauma. After a while though it feels like the trauma was in vain unless you do something to bring awareness to the situation and that means sharing it. Sharing it can then bring misunderstanding, ridicule and even censorship but the good that comes from sharing far outweighs that. So thanks again for your comment because it lets us know that doing and sharing is a good thing.
“After a while though it feels like the trauma was in vain unless you do something to bring awareness to the situation and that means sharing it.” I think this is brilliant Carlynne.
Thanks Thea. That’s just my morning brain. It wakes me up and won’t let me rest, then the afternoon brain only wants to turn off. Seriously though, it’s like a compulsion. I have to talk about it.
We have similar brains, my morning brain is very talkative, especially, inconveniently around 5 a.m. I finally put up a dry erase board near the bed to catch the morning messages/thoughts before they evaporate. But my after like 2 pm? My writing brain is MIA.
Thanks Laura! I agree with you totally. They got it going on, courage and skill. 🙂 They are role models for me.
Thank you, Laura for the kind words. Painting from this place is easier now than with the first paintings. I am less afraid and it feels natural to me. When I hear that one of these pieces has helped another, I am deeply moved. I am honored to have been part of Thea’s article.
This was a wonderful post. The paintings are incredible. I find some of the greatest creativity comes out of the darkest places whether it’s artists, writers or actors. It’s not only great therapy to create from those dark places but it usually becomes great art that exposes things that other people can relate to but are afraid to express themselves. I have some really scary dark pieces that drives my wife crazy because she does not like them and I love them.
Thank you so much on behalf of the artists Denise. I agree with you that some of the greatest art/theatre/writing comes from the darkest places. I think psychologist Carl Rogers nailed it when he said; “What is most personal, is most universal.” That is so ironic, right? The dark, crazy stuff we think others would revile us for, or throw tomatoes at us for, or at least laugh their ass off at us for, is often what people stand up and cheer us on about right? It’s the safe, middle of the road material that pulls no one out of their seat clapping. But that withstanding, it doesn’t make it any less terrifying to put out there in the world.
I absolutely agree.
Thank you Denise. I have had some of my work described as scary, too. But some of my darkest pieces have connected with others in ways that I never would have imagined. You just never know. Art is my way of speaking in this world. Sometimes I look at a certain painting and I feel a draw and a love from so deep within, and often I don’t really even know why.
The work on this post is stunning. I am drawn to artwork of pain and struggle. It’s just so reflective of our human journey and there is so much to learn and examine within ourselves. I do artwork of shadow concepts but I also do process painting – it is not about art but about the psychological process and following the paintbrush wherever you are guided. Both are fascinating. Thank you for this enriching post Thea. Carry on my wayward daughter! Nice job!!
I am a big fan of both these artists myself Gale. Thanks for writing in with your supportive, amazing comments all the time! And I a fan of you as well. I admire how much inner work you do on yourself via art. Your process paintings were part of the reason I posted this piece.
Thank you, Gale. I get totlly lost in the process sometimes….
During the death of my first marriage, I created two paintings that I think of as process work. They were abstract (I’m more of a realist) and full of lovely pinks, pastel oranges, light blues, and lavender colors. I painted my sense of freedom and movement.
I’ve tended to dump all the darkness and angst I’ve felt into a journal and into short stories. It’s been through writing that I’ve tried to find reasons and answers to questions around anger, shame, guilt and responsibility.
In addition to art, I study and practice astrology. I mention this because your post topic is very timely and reflects the energy of the Scorpio season we’ve just entered. There are no coincidences in my world, I believe as the Bible (I’m not religious, but I appreciate some of the wisdom found therein) and the Byrds said, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven…(turn, turn, turn).” This is a time for turning inward, perhaps even excavating some of those memories of things past that seem to still have hold of us from the grave. I used to think I’d never be free of some people; that they’d hold onto me from their graves. That was only my perception, and that notion left me when I stopped giving away my power to them. All is well.
Sharon, thank you for taking the time and having the courage to tell this story. It is indeed a time of turning in. I am so happy for you because you have freed yourself from the ties that formerly held you. I work on that every day myself, so I can relate.
Sharon, it is amazing how you can express yourself with color. I love that you “painted your sense of freedom”. I am working on writing more….
Kat, painting and writing are external expressions of internal experiences. My most personally satisfying art often happens because I feel it rather than think it. That said, I get a lot of satisfaction when the result IS a result of deliberate practice and training. They work together.
Writing really helps me think. I hope you find satisfaction in the process as you write more.