The Jonah Complex: How Creatives Can Overcome Fear of Greatness and Touch the Stars
by Thea Fiore-Bloom, Ph.D
Psychologist Abraham Maslow believed we all long to soar and touch the stars.
Especially creatives.
Maybe our dream is to sell a book or screenplay or get our art into a certain gallery or magazine.
But some big cottony obstruction always seems to be standing between us and our highest potential.
Maslow believed all of us possess the desire to go for it, to take a chance on our gifts.
But he also believed that almost all of us eventually will sit on our soul’s dream. Effectively boxing it up in mothballs and hiding it out of sight for the rest of our lives.
Why?
One big, hairy obstacle.
That obstacle was a cluster of emotions and fears he labeled, The Jonah Complex. (Named after Jonah in the bible.)
Remember Jonah’s legend?
The Jonah Complex: Killer of Creative Dreams
As the story goes, one day, a regular guy named Jonah got a personal call from God.
God wanted Jonah to preach to the people in the land of Nineveh.
Jonah did not feel worthy of such greatness.
Nor did he feel brave enough to honor his calling.
And besides, the Ninevites had an especially nasty reputation for being badasses.
And going to Nineveh to tell Ninevites they were worshipping the “wrong” god would be like jumping into a drunken, mad, stand-full of Oakland Raiders fans at the Superbowl and hurling personal insults at them.
Consequently, Jonah freaked out.
He opted to pass on his potential.
Instead, he threw a few things in a sack and bolted in the opposite direction of Ninevah.
But things didn’t go too well with his escape plan.
By evading his own destiny, Jonah bought himself a 3-night stay inside the gelatinous belly of a whale.
There, he had time to “process.” Jonah realized he shouldn’t have run away from the task God has chosen him for. All of a sudden the whale couldn’t stomach Jonah a moment longer and vomited him out on land.
And this time, with knees shaking, Jonah headed straight to Ninevah. Where he had a few more trials, survived, and eventually became a sort of saint.
So the Jonah Complex can be seen as a tsunami of fear triggered by a great, new creative challenge or opportunity.
The Jonah Complex can make it nearly impossible to start or finish a creative dream project. And it can even prevent us from expressing or doing what we know deep down we are meant to express or do in this lifetime.
But what exactly is so terrifying about the thought of living up to our personal best?
Well, how about these 5 things, for starters?
Why Are We So Terrified of Making Our Dreams Come True?
- Like Jonah, we fear if we pursue our greatest potential, we will encounter a few hairy or gooey obstacles and trials. And it’s true. We will.
- And like Jonah, what we fear even more is standing out from others. By growing too high, we can attract attacks from the crowd. Australians refer to this as tall poppy syndrome.
“Breakthrough” by artist and Charmed Studio subscriber Sandra Duran Wilson. Acrylic on Panel, 10.25″ x 10.25″ x 1.5″. - We’re also unconsciously terrified that if we rise above our fears and do our thing, we will become arrogant self-centered asses.
- And we fear we then may lose the love of friends or family who aren’t self-actualized themselves.
- Or perhaps we fear we’ll be laughed at. And ridiculed for being different.
Or maybe we fear a combo platter of all of the above.
Do you have difficulty imagining yourself as someone who deserves success in your dream field of work?
Almost all of us (with the exception of narcissists) momentarily ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to have this? There must be some mistake.’
Take me, for example.
How To Sit On Your Own Dream 101: Jonah Complex in Action
About twenty-five years ago, I was a 29-year-old aspiring author temporarily living in the Midwest. I somehow got up the guts to attend a huge book publishing expo in Los Angeles.
Wandering around the booths, I met real publishers, publicists, and even a few nice literary agents.
Shockingly a number of them were quite receptive to talking to me and hearing about a book idea I had then.
Three of these folks gave me their business card, their personal phone number, shook my hand, looked me straight in the eye, and told me to send them my book proposal that week.
What did I do when I got home?
Absolutely nothing.
Wait, that’s not true, I did do something. I went into a full-on Jonah Complex freakout and became consumed with fear.
I managed to convince myself these publishing professionals couldn’t be willing and even excited to help me achieve a dream. Their faith or interest in my idea must have been a mistake or just for show.
So instead of sending them a book proposal that week, I quietly filed their cards away in a business card holder (effectively boxing my own dream in mothballs.) Where they literally gathered dust for twenty years. Until today.
Until Today
This morning I pulled those cards out of their sticky time-worn plastic pockets and placed them on my living room table.
I did this for two reasons.
First to remind me that experience was real. And second to photograph one of those business cards to share with you.
(Just in case you think you are the only one who has sat on or sabotaged one of your own dreams.)
To the right is a photo of a card from one of the literary agents I met that day. One of the people I never contacted 20 years ago.
( Yes, I googled her this morning. 🙂 She just retired.)
But my point here is if/when this happens again, I am so ready to say yes.
And I want you to be ready to say yes too. Yes, to your next chance to unbox your dream.
But what can we do to make the next time different? Maslow has an answer for us.
How to Leave Jonah and His Damn Complex In the Dust
Maslow and his contemporaries suggested a simple but effective way to beat The Jonah Complex.
And it’s this.
In other words, stay humble but shoot for the stars.
Maslow would want us to work our tails off on our art, all the while striving for “the golden mean.” By the golden mean, Maslow meant the middle road that runs between grandiosity and self-loathing.
If you keep working hard and stay centered on that road, you will still just be a single star in the night sky.
But you will be a star that is shining to its fullest potential.
And you want to shine.
Not just for the good of your own soul but for the good of all our souls too.
Because when you liberate your own light, you heal, support, and inspire others who need to see it most.
Marianne Williamson says it best:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
If you need a little support doing this, come to my coaching page.
I’d love to talk you into shining. 🙂
Writing Coaching_________________________________________
What do you think of The Jonah Complex?
Have you ever Jonah’ed yourself out of a creative dream? Or is it just me?
Let me know in the comments below.
For more help dealing with our fear of being disapproved of, read or listen to the audio version of the Charmed Studio post: Why Your Art Matters to the World: A Moving Story Sculptor Olena Ellis Told Me.
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You may also like our articles on:
- Alison Saar: Disrupting Classical Literature To Create Epic Modern Art
- 10 Tell-Tale Signs of Burnout For Artists
- Why Are Some Art Teachers So Mean? How To Blast Through Envy and Bloom as an Artist
- Artists and Priorities: A Magical Method for Organizing Your Time
- Freaking Out About Money? DIY Aromatherapy Toolkit For Artists To Calm Money Fears,
- Why You Need a Feel Good File: The Emotional Rescue Tool No Creative Should Be Without,
- How to Recover From a Harsh Art Critique
- Should You Paint from Your Shadow Side?
Thea, thank you. I am completely bowled over by this article, which I just found today.
At 64 years of age – soon to be 65 – I am working with a mentor to unravel some issues from my past. One topic that I am working on are my feelings of “not being good enough” – something I have struggled with throughout the whole of my life. (Ironically, even though I struggled with this, I had a successful career as an event planner with literally no training in the field.) While writing, I realized that there was a recurrent theme that walked alongside those negative feelings: Something positive would happen to me and I would be offered the opportunity to take it to the next steps. Instead of pursuing it, I would run away from it as fast as I could. Inevitably, I would never pursue it. I never understood what that was about – I sensed it was a fear of success and failure, but why? Reading your article explained it to me.
A brief share:
When I was in my early 30’s I was attending a graduate program in counseling at New York City’s Hunter College. One professor asked the class to conduct a survey on Life Satisfaction, which I focused on with great intent. We had to draft a paper about it, as well. I got an A for the survey and the paper. The professor told me that she wanted me to publish the survey and the paper, which thrilled and delighted me at first. But it eventually derailed me. I never published the paper and never completed my Masters.
Although I have no regrets, hindsight is always 20/20. Had I gotten out of my own way, I would have gotten my Masters and gone on to get my PhD.
Thank you so much for the insight.
Dear Pina,
Thank you for being so gracious and taking the time to share your own struggle with Jonah Complex. I totally relate to being derailed by being offered something wonderful. Joseph Campbell called such offers “invisible hands” I believe. He described them as appearing out of the mist to reach out and pull us along. But I don’t remember if Campbell mentioned how terrifying it is to grasp those hands. Especially one after another.
As for getting a Ph.D., it is not the be-all or end-all, trust me. It would be interesting to give your excellent life satisfaction survey to a set of people with Ph.D.’s and those without, I think we might be surprised by the results. I for one am so thankful I went through that gauntlet but I don’t think I am in the majority. I think it depends on the topic and the purpose of your study.
But if you still want to do it, you have plenty of time. The average age of my grad school cohort at Pacifica in Carpinteria, California was around 65. And the program was conducted one long weekend a month, people flew in to attend. Perhaps we are only truly ready for higher education after midlife?
Congratulations on all you have done and all those you have touched.
Warmly, Thea
Ah, Thea! I saw the title of this blog previously but felt it did not apply to me. Then it did! I agree with Maslow’s interpretation and I definitely suffer from the “tall poppy syndrome”. It’s hard to believe that you fell for it as well so many years ago! This paragraph really speaks to me:” Not just for the good of your own soul but for the good of all our souls too.Because when you liberate your own light, you heal, support, and inspire others who need to see it most.” How true that is! I shall make it my new mantra! Last week someone contacted me to purchase my art. I just posted it and had not thought of a price at all. I told my husband what I thought I should charge.He upped it. An hour later an artist friend of mine called, he upped the price even more. All the while I felt that i was not deserving of this.I know, crazy! I quoted her the high price plus shipping and she paid immediately without flinching. A lesson learned. Not only will I be the tall poppy but the brightest red one! Thank you!
By liberating your light and charging a fair price for your work you greatly encourage me to do the same today. Thank you for shining your garnet-red-poppy -lushness on us all. Just doing a happy dance for you. Congratulations and thanks so much for sharing your story with me and other readers!
You are welcome,Thea, but I thank you:” garnet-red-poppy -lushness ” Loving this so much!
Oh Thank you Thea. I came across this post while looking for something else, and a tiny little voice inside said “read this!”. I’m so glad I did. I am just finishing up a small book I wrote for artists. Every time I think about actually releasing it into the world, my stomach flips. But as of right now, I can feel the courage building in me. This post was just what I needed….thank you so much. This line “Because when you liberate your own light, you heal, support and inspire others who need to see it most.” nearly brought me to tears. I am going to do it!
I encourage you, I implore you to go ahead and press publish and let your book out into the world. Artists desperately need a non-corporate, non-gallery-owner perspective on the art business. And you are the woman to give it to them.I know it is terrifying but we are all right behind you ready to fall off our own cliffs only to be shocked to see we have grown wings on the way down.
Unbelievable how many of the things listed under, “Why Are We So Terrified of Making Our Dreams Come True?” line up for me! You nailed my reasons, as well as what I needed to hear in response to those! Thank you so much for the encouragement and for the truth! I’ll try to remember it whenever I hear those reasons to be terrified creep in. Thank you so much!
Thank you for subscribing and for your equally appreciated encouragement and truth.
First of all, I’m still trying to get my head around the fact you’re from the Midwest? Well actually you are so genuine, and friendly that it does make sense after all. I love this blog!!!!! It’s perfect! I want to share something that I heard and will be something I hang up next to my computer.
73-year-old Tony winner Andre De Shields three pieces of advice in his acceptance speech
1. Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming
2. Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be.
3. The top of one mountain is the bottom of the next so keep climbing.
I also saw an image on the street I wish I could share, but don’t think I can.
You can’t believe I’m from the Midwest for a good reason — I am not. LOL.
I lived there for a bit. Thank you for your comment Denise. All three of De Shields points seem valid to me. Especially one and two. Number 3 makes me tired just thinking about it. 🙂
Oh boy! That Jonah…been there done that. I always though of it as the “who me?” thing. And not just with art either. This post is a great reminder to shine brightly!
Thanks for the clarification. Glad you can you relate to the post.
Yes. In “America in the Grip of Alpha Narcissism,”Jacqueline West has broken down narcissists into three relational patterns: the counter-dependent narcissist (withdrawing), the dependent narcissist (seeking), and the alpha narcissist (antagonistic). It looks to me as though Ahab is in the third category. Persons in this category, according to West, have an intense, self-righteous stridency. They are ideologues. They have a driven need to be “on top,” not just on top in a general sense, but also in every person-to-person relationship. This person needs to win and dominate at all costs in order to avoid any sense of failure, defeat, or vulnerability.
West’s article appears in a great book: “A Clear and Present Danger: Narcissism in the Era of Donald Trump.” The point of the book is not so much on whether Trump is or is not a narcissist, it is that so many of the rest of us are. (Of course, neither you nor I am/are. We are so well-adjusted you wouldn’t believe it.)
I never heard of that book. Wow. Nor had I heard of those 3 types. I was only familiar with the covert and overt narcissist categories. But that triad of West’s makes a lot of sense. I have been in both family and personal relationships with all three (“withdrawing narc, dependent narc and alpha narc”) types. All categories met. I’ve moved on personally. I hope we as a nation can move on as well.
Yes, I certainly have my own Jonah. And I sit looking at the little guy inside the crystal whale next to my computer. I always wondered why I bought that think eons ago.
I’ve got two points to my Jonah: One is a message gleaned off of my mother that makes me `freeze’ up when pursuing something I love. Her message was to never get too excited about a new love as they will always leave you. She was left at the altar by a man before she met my father. Her brother found the guy and beat the hell out of him. My mother never told that story but I heard about it from aunt after my mother passed.
The other was a message from my father about not being able to make money off of something that you enjoyed. I got it first when I was 5. Been worried about that ever since!
So I wonder if Maslow went into the personal origins of the Jonah Complex or just stuck with societal causes? It’s always worthwhile to dig out what “messages” we carry. Helps us leap over them, or more often- crawl over them, so we can enjoy great bits of the rest of our lives.Cheers.
Very provocative. I can see why fear of one’s own brilliance can be a factor. I just realized that there might be a juxtaposition between Jonah and Captain Ahab. Ahab wasn’t hesitant enough. He didn’t have a Jonah complex at all. Perhaps we fear that there is a ferocious Ahab in us, and we are afraid to turn him loose on the vast oceans of the world. If so, maybe it is time for us to see that there are positive aspects to Ahab. Perhaps he is connected to our creative side, the side of us that wants to go after our nemesis (our personal white whale). Perhaps we fear that when we sink the harpoon into this elusive creature he will drag us down into the depths with him. But if those depths are our unconscious . . . . Perhaps there should be a sequel to Moby-Dick, where Ahab is on an interior adventure into a world of fantasy.
Fascinating Steve.Yes. I think you have a novel there. Some great art and writing have come out of creative people’s need to flesh out an archetypal character from literature that intrigued them and see them in a new light. “Wicked: The True Untold Story of the Witches of Oz” comes to mind as a popular example. I saw a powerful piece of art last month in L.A. by sculptor Alyson Saar. It was entitled “Grow’d.” Moving, thought provoking sculpture based on Saar’s revisioning of the problematic, disempowered character of Topsy from Uncle Tom’s Cabin.
.https://afropunk.com/2019/03/alison-saar-sculptures/
I love it that art births more art.
Part 2, so do you think Captain Ahab was a narcissist?
https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jaap.1.1990.18.4.644?journalCode=jaap.1
Thea: I have been pondering your blogpost for the last two days and trying to recall all the moments which I’ve Jonah-ed myself over my 40+ year career. Then I realized who numerous they are! I loved your personal story about the business card you recently pulled out and sat on your coffee table. Right now in my files is the name and contacts of a store I’d definitely love to have show and sell my work, but all the voices in my head and past experiences prohibit me from reaching out. “Oh, they’ll never answer my emails”. “They won’t buy, I’m not “name recognized”, they’ll only want my work on consignment”. Sigh. It’s been such a long hard struggle that I feel I’m doomed before I start. Recently I spent an afternoon with a local celebrity whom I greatly admire and we talked about making lockets with her small paintings of lover’s eyes. I spent two days composing an email with all my locket examples that was never answered but saw on IG that she’s having pillows made with her paintings. Sometimes I just feel weary and frustrated. I’m not afraid of being seen but I get so tired of “the push”. This is when self care comes in for me. I try to wait until another day when I’m more confident and can reach out. Again. OR I talk to a trusted friend who gives me courage and support and a different perspective on what to do next…thanks for all your shot in the arms! I need them!
Thanks so much for reading and thinking about the piece. I am so pleased you could relate to the business card story. It was on the cutting room floor, initially made me feel too vulnerable, right? But I asked my friend John about it and he talked me in off the ledge and told me to leave it in. I have something I want to share with you about the lover’s eyes locket thing, will email you soon. I have “a different perspective” you might relate to, but don’t want to say it here.
Awesome, Thea. Yes, I “Jonah” my way out of things all the time. Currently working on standing up to my full stature, not only in my art/writing but other areas of life too.
Thanks so much for your support Chey! Means a lot to me. You are standing tall indeed. Congratualtions with your writing and all the other areas of your life you are taking a chance in. Scarey isn’t it! Ack, but there is no way out but through and we are going for it! Yee-haa!
Your reading brought me to tears. The truth hurts. Could they be tears of joy hurt?
What a profound compliment. You have made my day. Thanks for listening. I totally get the “joy-hurt.”